I've always been a big beliver in love, as long as i can rememeber I've believed in it. i think the first time i truely believed in it is when i heard the quote "The Greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return", granted it was taken from Baz Lutherman's Moulin Rouge. So i guess since i first heard those lines a little while after i have been as they say a "Hopeless Romantic" but now after the last few years and the two major heartbreaks i have started to second guess the thing that people call "true love". i guess started with this one girl, the one girl i had fallen in love with, when i had first saw her i thought at first it was going to be one of those girls i just on that bus that one time and that one time only, until it took a detour and we had to walk to mt.sac, thats when i got to know her, and for the first time i asked for a girl's number strange yes, but i have always kind of been shy to a girl i found attractive, after a few months i started to like her, then i fell in love with her, then she said something to me that for some reason didn't click in my head something i should have noticed when it happend and should have second guess when she said to me "i would be in love with you, if i wasn't in love with him" and when i heard that i thought there would be a chance, i should have noticed before that nothing would change that like every other girl i knew i would always just be a "friend", and nothing more.but one thing she kept saying is that she wanted to find someone to fall in love with and someone to treat her right, i felt like screaming at the top of my lungs "IM RIGHT HERE!" but that will never be, now time has passed and we havent spoken in quite a while i guess thats what helped me get over her.This is actually the first time i have written or even spoken about this and i think it as actually helped in a way i cannot yet explain, though some people say i cannot find a girl because im to "nice" of a person, well thats how i was brought up, always to treat a girl with respect, and i can't change how i am with girls, because like the song from The Smiths "Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want" with the line "see the luck i've had could make a good man turn bad' if something like this happens again or close to i believe it will change me, cause i think for the time being im not ready to open myself up to another girl until im ready to do so until then i am hesitant and that think everyone calls "true love" or "The One"